


Deadweight

by qevillous



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma - Freeform, Boys In Love, Cute, Cute Shiota Nagisa, Dorks in Love, Gender Dysphoria, Haircuts, In which Karma is a good boyfriend, M/M, Nagisa being Nagisa, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25989805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qevillous/pseuds/qevillous
Summary: Nagisa thinks about things. Karma is there also.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 138





	Deadweight

**Author's Note:**

> had this idea at like 3 am and slept on it. now we got this.  
> TW for gender dysphoria (in the form of long hair)
> 
> also this probably has a few mistakes and wording errors because i didnt bother editing this so! thats fun hope you dont mind

Nagisa sat in his bed, attempting to stall for as long as possible before sleeping. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was sure his dreams would be awful. The hair ties in his hair pulled at his scalp at this point, making him itch his head to attempt to loosen them. He grumbled in frustration as he contemplated removing the small elastics.

His hands brushed over the bands for a moment before he hesitated. He hated having his hair down. The feeling of having his hair brushing his shoulders made him shiver. He had voiced his concerns to his partner of course. The night was too dark and the moon was too bright as he opened up for only a moment. 

Karma was holding him tightly from behind, his arms around his small waist as he began to drift to sleep. Nagisa would murmur something twice before Karma would respond. “Karma..?” He tried quietly. No response. “Karma?” He asked again, only a bit louder.

“I heard you the first time.” The voice behind him spoke, his arms shifting slightly at the movement. He could practically hear the big grin Karma had on his face. Nagisa flicked the back of his boyfriend’s hand with his finger gently, letting out a small laugh before dropping his smile.

“I don’t like my hair.” He murmured suddenly, not particularly talking to anyone but himself. It was more like a thought, but somehow he put the words in his mouth instead of keeping it. Karma’s expression didn’t change as he gently held Nagisa’s hand from behind, only muttering a single word. The word Nagisa hated to be asked.

“Why?” Karma had asked, his tone flat. Nagisa wasn’t entirely sure how to reply. How do you explain years worth of body dysphoria to someone you’ve known all your life? He was silent for a bit, finding quiet comfort in the boy hugging him from behind.

“Too long.” He answered quietly, his voice threatening to break. That was simple enough. Karma didn’t bat an eye as he nuzzled his face into the pillow nearby, his eyes unchanging as he thought. He wasn’t too sure why his hair bothered him so much. 

Everyone else seemed to look over it, and usually, he would be happy to sweep something unpleasant like that under the rug, but every time he saw himself with his hair down he felt sick to his stomach. The feeling made him wince. Without noticing, he had associated his hair going down to a bad thing, and he hated that a daily detail would be so daunting to him.

Nagisa felt Karma rustle behind him, unsurprised to find himself on the ground, Karma practically laying on top of him. He didn’t fight back as it happened, simply staring back into Karma’s eyes. Nagisa blinked as he felt Karma’s hand going up to his head, gently pulling out each band. He wasn’t entirely sure what his boyfriend was getting at.

Karma flipped them around and Nagisa practically fell by the swiftness of it all. He held his body up after a moment.

“Why’d you do that?” Nagisa asked quietly. He didn’t feel pressured into silence by Karma. He could ask things. He could show weakness. Something he wouldn’t be able to do reliably near anyone else. He was usually seen as the weak, quiet type, and he was okay with that. In fact, that was what he wanted to be. He didn’t care for sticking out at all.

“So I can do this.” Karma grabbed something nearby. Nagisa didn’t have much to go by before he was suddenly lifted up.

“H-hey-!” Nagisa blinked as he felt his head get picked up by his hair slightly, the sudden force making him lean upwards before the tension was broken. Karma swept the metal scissors across the hair, the loose strands falling onto the side. Nagisa fell onto Karma’s chest, confused. It all happened too fast.

“What did yo-” He was about to ask before the small strands of hair nearby them explained everything. Nagisa blinked, running his hand through his hair to find it considerably shorter, reaching just the bottom of his chin by now. He looked at Karma, only to see him smile slightly.

“You don’t have to worry about your mom anymore.” Karma reminded him. Nagisa felt tears in his eyes for a moment. He wasn’t sure what they were, or what emotion they represented, but it sent a relieving feeling through his body like a shockwave. A huge weight he had been carrying for who knows how long was just lifted in one short action. Karma’s gaze softened, but before he spoke, Nagisa got him.

“Don’t ruin this with a witty remark.” Nagisa smiled as he leaned towards his face and held onto his shirt neckline. Karma smiled deviously at that, clearly keeping back a bit of laughter.

“Well, I wasn’t going to… but now that you mention it.” His eyes glowed slightly in the light as he rubbed some tears off of Nagisa’s cheek. Nagisa took a moment to appreciate it as he laughed gently. He smirked as he moved so that he was practically sitting on top of the redhead.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” He giggled as he leaned forward. Karma was more than happy to oblige as he kissed back, moving his arms to hold Nagisa’s hips as Nagisa closed his eyes.

The world felt so small here, in Karma’s arms. He could take things slowly and appreciate Karma’s more carefree lifestyle. Nagisa’s hands drifted to the side of Karma’s face as they fell out of the kiss. Nagisa attempted to casually look for a mirror, but the angle he was at prevented him from seeing anything. 

“You look fine.” Karma assured him as soon as he noticed Nagisa’s shift in perspective. His gaze looked slightly concerned. Nagisa doubted he was used to showing so much concern clearly. Nagisa smiled as Karma placed his hand on Nagisa’s head. He leaned down and laid on Karma’s chest, comforted by the rhythm of Karma’s heartbeat.

“Are we going to sleep on the floor or what?” Nagisa asked suddenly, twisting a strand of Karma’s hair in a bored haze. The redhead let out a small laugh as he sat up slowly, Nagisa sliding down slightly as Karma picked up the bluenette and laid him on the bed.

Nagisa scooted away eagerly as Karma laid down with his back facing Nagisa. He smiled as he hugged onto the taller boy, burying his face into his upper back as he moved his legs over the redhead’s slightly. He would rarely sleep like this, but every time it happened Nagisa would happily assume the role of big spoon if it made Karma feel better. He had a feeling he was doing it for him this time.

“Are we going to be okay?” Nagisa asked gently as he ran his fingers through Karma’s hair. The redhead was quiet for a few seconds before turning around. His expression was so gentle Nagisa could cry. Karma smiled gently.

“We’ll never be okay.” Karma blinked, pushing a strand of hair from Nagisa’s face. “But I think this is okay.” He blinked as he hugged Nagisa tightly. Nagisa wasn’t sure what to say, but he hugged him back gently. He really loved Karma, so much. He wouldn’t be able to say it too honestly, however. Not yet. He wasn’t sure why.

“Now lets sleep. I’m tired.” Karma yawned slightly after pulling away. Nagisa hugged him from behind again after Karma flipped over, his eyes lost in pointless thought, strings of a sentence that would never make sense. Everything and nothing happened the moment Karma cut his hair, and he needed time to analyze it. Too much time. Time he would never get.

But like Karma said, it was okay. It was okay to not have answers. Instead of analyzing the event that occured only a few minutes ago, and focused on this moment. This moment of sweet silence that could be broken. He thought carefully about what to say, but nothing seemed appropriate.

“Thank you…” Nagisa managed after a moment. He was too tired to notice that Karma had smiled. Nagisa nuzzled into the taller boy, closing his eyes as he let himself finally fall asleep.


End file.
